Liam

 

Liam is my everything. The yin to my yang. My heart and soul. The Jack to my Karen. The Max to my Penny. The vodka to my martini. Liam is my gay husband. He is the best travel buddy. Gives me the harsh truths, even when I’m fragile and need to be lied to. He is a stupendous wingman and also a giant cock block. Liam is basically a straight guy that likes having sex with dudes. And I do mean alllllllllllll of the dudes. Liam is a hunter and fisher. He’s a football watcher and a rancher. He’s also a prissy little gay that likes dancing shirtless with oily men. Or finding randos on vacation and having them over for an afternoon shower. Once while in Colorado together, Liam made some “friends” from a gay hookup app. They were going to go for a hike, and he made it VERY clear that I was not invited. Liam is a very clean and organized but also absolutely disgusting. Burping, farting, and picking his nose. He doesn’t wear underwear or sleep in ANYTHING, and I can’t tell you how many times I have seen his penis. And not one of those times was on purpose. We are truly soulmates. He is my favorite person on the planet and the one I go to with all of my problems. To which his answer is almost exclusively “I don’t know, fuck him and find out” or “get high and stop being such a girl”. Super helpful. I have had some of my greatest successes with Liam (like the model) and he has also cock blocked me away from some. One time in New Orleans we went to a gay strip club and walked in to find Liam giving a stripper a hand job. In the middle of the room. He has no shame and I could not love him more!